Well here I am finally! Its been about a month since i set up my blog- anticipating my journey to being healthy was going to be worth recording.
Let me start by saying I have lived on a diet my whole life. I am not very good at it- thats for sure. I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it when I am eating it- hate what it does to my shape. When i was little my mom was worried - i was so thin and didn't eat. I was also very anemic- as most red heads are. I am not sure what happened from there- but that was when my life changed and i started loving food.
I have had a rocky road in life- who hasnt? I gained weight when i was pregnant with my first born Jessica. Not her fault but I was out of control and gained 55 pounds. What they say is so untrue- I didn't lose it after the birth- it took a while- a long while. Right after- the first time on the scale- I lost 14 pounds. Funny how these numbers stick with you. Yes, she weight 7 pounds 10 ounces and the rest was water and all that- but it tooks months to get rid of the rest. I had joined Weight Watchers with my husband Clive at that time and we did really well. I was back to my fighting weight- not quite what i was in High School but close - within 15 pounds.
When i became pregnant with my second - my son CJ was 8 pounds and 10.5 ounces but I had gained 60 pounds with him. I ended up losing only 40 pounds and carried the extra for life. I was reasonably happy- I loved being a mom- but the marriage was rocky and when CJ was 3 months old we separated. I became a mom only and worked hard to take care of "US"..the 3 Amigos i always said. At this point- Food became my comfort- I loved it for a different reason. My weight became third place to my children and my work- family was just as important and still is. No one understood my life- I lived to make sure everyone was happy, everyone was well cared for, everyone had nothing to want for. I lost myself along the way- but it was ok- that was how I thought life should be. As a mom, my life was to take care of my babies and that was what i did.
They grew up- I grew out- I turned to food now as comfort and to fill a void in my life- my babies were taken care of as they were older- moving out- going off to school - living their own lives and Mom had to take a new role- not one I was used to for sure. So now, I was having female problems to boot and a hysterectomy was called for. At this point my weight was double that of my High School weight and i started wondering how did i get here? How did i stop paying attention to me and my health? I have always loved food, always hated exercise but always loved dancing - so i guess the term exercise was certain things - push ups, crunches, painful exercise was not my forte'.
Anyway- my day of awakening was after all this- about 5 years ago- I realized i was weighing in at 298 pounds- 2 away from an even 300...and i was miserable. I was married to Greg- a relationship that made me realize after all these years that marriage was really about this- giving and taking and sharing and love. To this day- he still tells me he loves me just out of the blue- for no reason. He loved me at any weight- so losing weight was not based on love in that respect. My decision to start now was health. I had lost weight over the past few years a few pounds at a time. I had dropped 70 plus pounds but my awakening came when i turned 60 this year. I went to the doctor- my blood sugar level was out of control, my blood pressure had always been high but when my dad passed in '96 from not taking his meds I decided this was something i needed to stay on top of.
I found my eyesight is really bad due to blood sugar - not at all what i thought. Working with computers all day and eye strain always i thought it was age. I started to realize - i had let myself go. I had no one to blame but myself- but I didn't realize how bad it was until June of this year when I woke up to turning 60 and needing to pay attention.
I called my friend Kris who had advertised this product that was changing lives- I was wondering if it could help me take control back to my life- back is a strange term as I don't think I ever had control. So the journey begins...I will update as I can- its time for me.
Let me start by saying I have lived on a diet my whole life. I am not very good at it- thats for sure. I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it when I am eating it- hate what it does to my shape. When i was little my mom was worried - i was so thin and didn't eat. I was also very anemic- as most red heads are. I am not sure what happened from there- but that was when my life changed and i started loving food.
I have had a rocky road in life- who hasnt? I gained weight when i was pregnant with my first born Jessica. Not her fault but I was out of control and gained 55 pounds. What they say is so untrue- I didn't lose it after the birth- it took a while- a long while. Right after- the first time on the scale- I lost 14 pounds. Funny how these numbers stick with you. Yes, she weight 7 pounds 10 ounces and the rest was water and all that- but it tooks months to get rid of the rest. I had joined Weight Watchers with my husband Clive at that time and we did really well. I was back to my fighting weight- not quite what i was in High School but close - within 15 pounds.
When i became pregnant with my second - my son CJ was 8 pounds and 10.5 ounces but I had gained 60 pounds with him. I ended up losing only 40 pounds and carried the extra for life. I was reasonably happy- I loved being a mom- but the marriage was rocky and when CJ was 3 months old we separated. I became a mom only and worked hard to take care of "US"..the 3 Amigos i always said. At this point- Food became my comfort- I loved it for a different reason. My weight became third place to my children and my work- family was just as important and still is. No one understood my life- I lived to make sure everyone was happy, everyone was well cared for, everyone had nothing to want for. I lost myself along the way- but it was ok- that was how I thought life should be. As a mom, my life was to take care of my babies and that was what i did.
They grew up- I grew out- I turned to food now as comfort and to fill a void in my life- my babies were taken care of as they were older- moving out- going off to school - living their own lives and Mom had to take a new role- not one I was used to for sure. So now, I was having female problems to boot and a hysterectomy was called for. At this point my weight was double that of my High School weight and i started wondering how did i get here? How did i stop paying attention to me and my health? I have always loved food, always hated exercise but always loved dancing - so i guess the term exercise was certain things - push ups, crunches, painful exercise was not my forte'.
Anyway- my day of awakening was after all this- about 5 years ago- I realized i was weighing in at 298 pounds- 2 away from an even 300...and i was miserable. I was married to Greg- a relationship that made me realize after all these years that marriage was really about this- giving and taking and sharing and love. To this day- he still tells me he loves me just out of the blue- for no reason. He loved me at any weight- so losing weight was not based on love in that respect. My decision to start now was health. I had lost weight over the past few years a few pounds at a time. I had dropped 70 plus pounds but my awakening came when i turned 60 this year. I went to the doctor- my blood sugar level was out of control, my blood pressure had always been high but when my dad passed in '96 from not taking his meds I decided this was something i needed to stay on top of.
I found my eyesight is really bad due to blood sugar - not at all what i thought. Working with computers all day and eye strain always i thought it was age. I started to realize - i had let myself go. I had no one to blame but myself- but I didn't realize how bad it was until June of this year when I woke up to turning 60 and needing to pay attention.
I called my friend Kris who had advertised this product that was changing lives- I was wondering if it could help me take control back to my life- back is a strange term as I don't think I ever had control. So the journey begins...I will update as I can- its time for me.
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